In dealing with people, there are always some people who make you feel like you’re in the breeze and get along very easily. There are also some people who will give you pressure, so you can’t help but frown and want to avoid them. We don’t like to socialize with the latter, not because they are not good, often because they are too low emotional intelligence. The following 7 kinds of behavior is called the tumor of human relations, please make sure you check against yourself, and change.

01
The best debater

Tsai Kangyong told a story in “The Way of Speaking”. A company recruited a graduate from a prestigious university, he is full of wisdom, eloquent, every time in the department meeting can talk eloquently, deeply respected by the leadership. But his relationship with his coworkers is poor. Need to work together when other departments are not willing to cooperate, the same department is not willing to collaborate with him. Not because his work ability is poor, but because he is too good at talking, always like to crush others in words. Whenever others put forward a little suggestion, he can refute the other party to speechless. Those who have suffered from him verbally are looking forward to him making a fool of himself. Some people are like this, he speaks to others, not to communicate, but like a debate, fighting. He only cares about his own victory or defeat, as to whether it will make the other party embarrassed, uncomfortable, are not in his scope of consideration. Gradually, he allows himself to lose hearts and minds. The French philosopher La Rochefoucauld once said: If you want to make enemies, outwit your friends; if you want to make friends, let your friends outwit you. The winner in a debate is always the loser in human relations.
02
The Champion of Flaunting Wealth

There is a saying by Confucius: Seeing a dangerous wall is about to fall, neither help, then no push very good. Seeing people’s walls fall down if you can’t help, don’t push is also a kind of goodness; others drink porridge you eat meat, can’t share words, don’t barf is also a kind of goodness. Showy behavior, like a dazzling light, illuminating their own at the same time, will also burn others. When dealing with others, it is really decent to get but not show, and the right way to open is to be expensive but not showy. There is such a plot in “Old Friends”. Chandler, who has just been promoted, prepares a valuable necklace as a birthday gift for Monica. When he is almost at Monica’s apartment, he learns that Monica was fired from her company the day before. Chandler immediately puts away the necklace and instead presents Monica with a blank tape in which he records her favorite music. Faced with his friend’s confusion, Chandler explained, “I give gifts to make my friends happy, not to make them feel less well off than I am.” A good relationship requires putting away feelings of superiority. When others are in the dark, don’t send too strong a light to stab others, when others shine, each other’s light can illuminate each other.
03
Dad’s head, dad’s head.
Do you have this kind of people around you? Open mouth is “listen to my quasi-right”, “I’m for your own good”, “when you get to my age will understand”. Obviously do not know high, but like to the identity of the past, condescending to your life to tell you. You want to invest money, he said you are a leek to the door; you want to do card fitness, he said you might as well go to the park running exercise. These people are often with “I know more than you” self-righteousness, revealing the grease of the father’s head and brain, so that people are not tired of. We are all adults, no one wants to listen to you like a son. Those relatives who urge for marriage and birth at the first meeting are eventually blocked by young people; those who always interfere with friends’ choices and comment on friends’ lives are eventually blacked out by their friends. Put away your desire to be a good father so that you don’t screw up a relationship.

04
Privacy Detective

In recent years, society has set off a wave of “broken relatives”. It is said that nowadays the 90s and 00s have weaker and weaker ties with their relatives. This can not be said to be young people emotional apathy, really no one wants to be under the banner of concern, their privacy to probe. Imagine, with a good mood to go home for New Year’s Eve, you just stayed up for a few hours of high-speed rail, in the home of the ass is not yet sitting hot, there are the same village aunt Liu came in to “care” you: “the girl to talk about the object, aunty to introduce you to an ah.” Reunion dinner ate well, aunt from time to time to probe your income: “This year’s wage increase it, income is not much if you might as well go home to take a civil service it.” Psychologist Adler said: excessive concern is the greatest disrespect to others. Everyone has his or her own privacy, like a locked diary, not wanting to be touched, much less known. No one likes others to talk about their private feelings, and no one likes others to repeatedly bring up their private affairs. Other people are willing to talk about things, nature will take the initiative to speak out, others are not willing to speak, you break the pot to ask to the end is a bit uninteresting.
05
Emotional baby

Knowing the question: what kind of people are you most afraid to deal with? The most liked answer, only four words – emotional babies. Emotional babies have reached adulthood, but their psychological age is still in the infant stage; they can not control their own emotions, a little dissatisfied, they will make a big fuss, and even rolling; although weaned, but still need to be fed emotionally, habitually ask for emotional value from others, and capriciously ask the whole world to revolve around themselves. The University of Frankfurt has done a study, the results show that: each person has a unique energy field, people and people’s energy will affect and transform each other. The energy state of the people you come in contact with directly affects the state of your life. When you get along with an emotional baby, you will unconsciously tolerate his bossiness and take care of his irrationality, and in time your energy will be drained. If you find that there are such “consuming” people around, rather than trying to change, it is better to reduce the entanglement, timely stop loss is the best policy.
06
Complaining Personality

“Why is it just me”, ‘How could he do that’, ‘If only I …… had done it’. “That can all blame me” …… These words repeatedly chewed in the mouth of Mrs. Cheung Lin, like those who love to complain around you hang on the mouth of the cartwheel. The first time you hear, the bystanders may be for you to fight; hear again, may comfort you a few words. But again and again and again chanting a non-stop, other people’s ears and even calluses, then your misfortune, perhaps into the others after dinner talk. The sea of life, encountered bitter things difficult things heart grudges is human nature. To close friends, relatives moderate complaints is to release the pressure; visible people complain, is to go into the fire. Everyone has their own emotions to digest, others are willing to be a quiet listener, has been the most benevolent. No one will like a person who complains all day long, you complain to whom, is to push the other away from their own lives.

07
Addicted to White Whoring

Mr. Ma Weidu once said something like this on his show. The nanny of their family always likes to steal things from their family. But she didn’t take anything valuable, just a head of garlic, two slices of ginger, and half a bottle of peanut rice. Usually when a nanny is caught stealing things, she is fired, but Ma Wei Du did not, but told her nicely, “If you need anything you can take it, but you have to say so.” Still, the nanny was a repeat offender. This practice of not saying hello annoyed Ma Widu and he later fired her. More or less, we are surrounded by such white john monster: let roommates help bring meals but never pay, buy things were more money but do not squeak, in order to save money always let acquaintances to help free translation, P picture, when the hard labor …… They regard taking advantage as “smart”, but everyone has a scale in their heart, no one is stupid, just don’t say it. The actual fact is that the actual people who have been in the market for a long time have to pay back the money. Undifferentiated take advantage of, and finally will lose the trust of friends, overdraw their own character. At this point then look back, before taking advantage of the so-called cheap, in fact, not cheap at all.